Remembering
by jules0160
Summary: It's another day on the Tardis for The Doctor and the Ponds. But Amy and Rory want to spend the day at their house in Leadworth. It may not seem like a big deal— it really isn't— but it's November 22nd. The day he lost her. So the Doctor takes a moment. A moment to remember his precious Rose.


**(A/N: hi, ****this is my first fic that I've posted so I decided on some dw. I guess you could say this is a RosexDoctor even though Rose technically isn't in it. I like to think that she did come back for Journey's End but had to go back for a different reason, and not because of Tentoo. You don't really have to think that, it doesn't really say that in the actual fic anywhere, but I just like to think that. Also, I didn't there was an exact date for doomsday so I just put November 22nd. But please feel free to correct me if I'm wrong. So, um, I'll stop rambling now and I hope you enjoy the story!)**

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"Doctor! Can we make a stop to our house real quick," Amy said loudly as she came down the stairs to the console room, "I forgot a few things."

"Of course, as long as you don't try running out on me." The Doctor grinned as he said this, keeping the mood light.

"Can we maybe stay for the day? I'm still recovering slightly from the robots in France," Rory said from his place leaning against the railing.

"Great idea Rory! We can see what's going around the ol' homestead. See if anyone's in need of some saving."

"Oi! What about that trip to Barcelona you promised me? The planet, I mean." The Doctor frowned slightly at the mention of Barcelona, but quickly smiled. "I don't exactly remember promising that, but Amy, she's a time machine we'll still have time for that." Though he secretly hoped she would forget about it. He never did get to take her there. "Okay, okay."

"What exactly is Barcelona?" Rory asked, a bit confused.

"It's a planet," the Doctor said, hoping to drop the subject.

"Well I picked that much up. And what happened to going on a nice, relaxing trip to Disney World? I thought we were going there next."

"Oh yes, Disney! Walt was lovely man. Maybe we could go to Disney Land instead, I'm sure you'd love to meet him. Either one, though, they're both fantastic. Just pick a time period and tell me when. Though I do lo-"

"Doctor!" Amy interrupted, "You're rambling a bit."

"Oh, yes, sorry, where were we?"

"We were going to go to our house for the day," Rory reminded him.

"Right! Anything specific you had in mind?"

"I just wanted to grab a sweater and a pair of boots I forgot."

"Nothing."

"You two are so boring," he muttered under his breathe.

"We just wanna relax a little, is that so bad?"

"Hmm, relaxing, relaxing," the Doctor pondered out loud, "oh I know! Maybe we could have a picnic or go out for some tea or maybe we could find so-"

"Doctor, can we just get there first, please?" Amy interrupted once more.

"Oh right, yes, yes. What's the date?"

"November 22nd," Rory said.

The Doctor frowned at this and his eyes turned cold. He silently turned to console and put in the coordinates. The guilt was coming back. It had always been there since it happened, but he managed to tuck it away in the back of his mind. They could both tell something was obviously wrong, so Amy took the chance of asking. "Everything all right Doctor?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you okay?"

"Of course," he said without looking at them.

"Well how 'bout we go get ready Amy?" Rory said as he took her hand and left the room.

The Doctor was grateful. Unlike Amy, who he could hear complaining after they left the room, Rory could tell when people were upset and he gave them time alone. After the Tardis landed on their street, the Doctor took a seat with his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. "Oh Rose. I'm so sorry," he whispered before he pulled out the barbie he always had with him (Amy and Rory still weren't sure why). "Rose Tyler," he whispered again, while smoothing its hair back. The Doctor still carried unbearable guilt for losing her. And on top of that guilt, he felt like he didn't "mourn" her enough. It was a silly thing to be feel guilty about, but it was his Rose, and he felt like it wasn't fair to her. So he does it now. Sometimes he'll have a nightmare about her, it'll make him relive losing her, or sometimes a whole different torture. The worst are when she's being tortured and he can just stand there and scream.

Then there are the times like now. All the November 22nds. All the echoes of the day she was taken from him. No matter what the situation, as long as it was a November 22nd, he found time. Time to just remember. To apologize. To wait for her to come back even though she never will.

He sighed. "You should still be with me Rose. But I suppose that's my fault. You'd love the new Tardis. Well, probably not as much as the old one, but you'd appreciate it. Oh and Amy and Rory! I think you and Amy would get along brilliantly! 'Member when I said 12 hours but I accidentally brought you back 12 months later? Well I met Amy when she was a kid so I told her I'd be back in 5 minutes but accidentally came back when she was grown!" He slowly got more excited, as if she was really there. He went on about his life for a minute or two, as he occasionally did.

The Doctor took a deep breath, the guilt and longing come back. "I'm so sorry Rose. I never did get to take you to Barcelona." Thinking he heard the Ponds, he kissed the top of the dolls head and murmured "Rose Tyler, I love you." He shocked himself a bit, and tears stung the back of his eyes. He put his Barbie back in his jacket pocket, and let a single tear slip down his cheek. The Tardis groaned, a sign of comfort for the Doctor, but he could tell she missed Rose, too. "I know, I know. I wish she were with us," the Doctor said and lovingly patted the console. "She was truly brilliant. So, so brilliant."

The Doctor hastily wiped the tear from his face when the Ponds came down the stairs.

"Are you ready Ponds?" he said when they both in the room, his usual demeanor returning.

"Yeah, but are you sure you're alright?"

"Of course, I'm always alright."

"Right."

Amy turned to walk out with Rory following. They were out the door but the Doctor hesitated, "I'll be there in a minute!"

They both nodded over their shoulders, eager to be back home for a bit. But the Doctor walked back to his room. He went to his nightstand drawer and got out a small picture. A picture of his Rose. Well, it was both of them standing by the tree on Christmas right after he regenerated. Jackie had made them take it, at the time it seemed silly, but now he's grateful. He smiled down at it once more before putting it in back in his pocket with the Barbie. Before he let the guilt overwhelm him once more, he left to join the Ponds with a small hole in his hearts that would always be there. There was only one person that could fill it.

His Rose.

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**(Thanks for reading and I hope you liked it! That really could have gone either way so sorry if it wasn't good? haha. Reviews are greatly appreciated since it was hard to put myself out there. Stay brilliant!)**


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